I%26#39;m often uncomfortable about gift-giving, so I can use some help.
During our France trip this June/July, we will stay for 4 nights with our %26quot;exchange daughter%26#39;s%26quot; family in Nantes. They are taking some time off from work to show us around. Our own daughter will have spent the previous 3 weeks living with them.
So I have read on TA that it is a clear expectation to bring gifts to a French host/hostess if you spend time at their home.
What type of gift(s) are %26quot;expected%26quot; in this situation? What would be pleasant gifts for them to receive, given that my wife and I will be somewhat limited because we%26#39;ll arrive with a single pack on our backs?
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Well , what a difficult question !
One can%26#39;t say that is an expectation to receive gifts from someone you invite , but to bring a gift shows that you appreciate to be invited and it is a way to say : thanks ; so yes , you should do it .
What ? very difficult to answer .. because a gift which will please one won%26#39;t please the other .. depends on what people like .
Your daughter could perhaps give you hints about the family %26#39;tastes%26#39; if she spent some days with them .
Perhaps you could make a beautiful present to the %26#39;french daughter%26#39; herself ? typically american clothes are generally appreciated by the teenagers : sweat shirts or T-shirts with american %26#39;labels%26#39; , like basket-ball ot football teams ,universities , cities etc ...
hehe .. don%26#39;t bring wine , could almost be interpreted as an offense ;)
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PJ -
When I must carry the hostess gift to his out of town client dinner with my husband, I take a coffee table book with photographs of our home area. They%26#39;re a little bit heavy to carry, but have always been well received, and make it easy to deal with the personal/impersonal decision. For someone that I know, I might bring a silver picture frame, with a photo from a previous visit.
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%26lt;%26lt;%26lt;don%26#39;t bring wine , could almost be interpreted as an offense%26gt;%26gt;%26gt;
Interesting, I have had French visitors to my home bring wine as a gift. Should I be offended?
I do not think a fine bottle of Washington State Pinot Noir would be a totally inappropriate gift, assuming you are willing to accept the risks of transporting it in your luggage. None the less, this is often a difficult question to address. Flowers may be appropriate for a dinner invitation but for an extended visit, you may want to find something from a local gift shop or perhaps a vase from a local artist.
If you are from the Seattle area, it seems I recall having seen several local artists with interesting items suitable as gifts available in Pioneer Square. That might be a good place to stroll for inspiration.
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Thanks all for this help, it helps me to feel a bit more comfortable in finding ways to show our respect.
Lougir -- don%26#39;t worry I won%26#39;t bring wine for them :-) We don%26#39;t know wines and I know they do--in fact, when their daughter stayed with us for 2 months last fall, she couldn%26#39;t get over that we didn%26#39;t have wine with dinner!
And I already have I gift for the daughter--a small clay sculpture from a Pueblo Indian village I visited recently. It%26#39;s her parents who I%26#39;m having a hard time figuring out what to bring.
1BC -- a book about our region is a good idea, although I%26#39;m not going to carry a coffee-table book around in my pack while my wife and I tour through Brittany for 5 days beforehand.
Sarastro -- yes, maybe local foods from our Pike PLace market--but not the tourist smoked salmon that everyone here sends to relatives :-)
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%26lt;%26lt;%26lt;don%26#39;t bring wine , could almost be interpreted as an offense%26gt;%26gt;%26gt;
Have asked a few French people for their opinion on this and they all say that it is correct not to give wine if you are invited to a dinner party because you are doubting the judgement of the host who would have choosen suitable wines to match the dinner, however to give wine in this situation would be perfectly accceptable.
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%26lt;%26lt;%26lt;because you are doubting the judgement of the host who would have choosen suitable wines to match the dinner,%26gt;%26gt;%26gt;
When wine is given to a host, it is never assumed by the guest that his offering will be served that evening. Nor would a host ever infer that such a gift was a reflection upon his own wine selection.
I have seen wine offered to French hosts countless times, and have greatfully received numerous bottles from invitees in my home both in the US and in France. Wine is offered and received in exactly the same manner as any other thoughtful gesture and is meant to be nothing less.
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Well, as I said, because we%26#39;ll be traveling light and don%26#39;t have much knowledge about wine, we won%26#39;t be making a gift of wine. I%26#39;m sure hoping they%26#39;ll be offering it to us though!
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In fact, I%26#39;m thinking that there couldn%26#39;t be a better place for my then-17 year old daughter to try drinking wine for the first time. How much better for her to have that experience at a French family%26#39;s dinner table rather than at a Sr. year party or in her freshman dorm.
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hehe.. i see i caused a debate ..
Well , %26#39;offensed%26#39; is probably NOT the right word , i am sorry about my english language .
But i am sorry to say it too,most of french people consider their country as the top about wines and themselves as wine specialists . So offering american wine to them you could probably have 2 reactions : some will consider it strange , like offering whiskey to a scottish or vodka to a russian , you see? .. some others will probably be happy to taste something new and different of what they are use to.
But .. no problem as you won%26#39;t bring wine :)
As i mentionned in my previous post , something typically american , or typical of your area like food or handycraft would be i think appreciated
enjoy your stay :)
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Thanks all!
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